Getting Closer to Coming to America

I am happy to say that this may be one of the last Sunday emails that I write from Afghanistan.  My friend Brian Landreth welcomed his replacement to Bagram about 12 days ago and is just leaving today so I may have a similar experience but at least for now I am cautiously optimistic.  This week has been totally nuts.  You may have heard about some of the stuff going on in nearby Kabul where 3 American physicians were killed and another 10 or so people were injured.  The shooter was one of the Afghan soldiers we have been training.  He turned the gun on himself but only managed to shoot half of his face off.  I am not sure where he is now.  We were supposed to get some of the trauma from that shooting but they all ended up going somewhere else.  A couple of days before that shooting in Kabul there was a mortar that landed pretty close to the hospital near one of the dining facilities.  It was well timed because the area was pretty crowded at the time and the explosion killed 3 contractors and injured another 8.   We were busy in the OR all night stabilizing the injured.  It was the first time since Thanksgiving that we have seen injuries from rocket attacks on base.  It was unclear whether the C-RAM shot the mortar and it was the shrapnel that cause the injuries or if the C-RAM missed. We were told earlier in the week that intel suggested that the Taliban forces were striving to make a statement following the elections and recent incoming trauma cases certainly validate the intel.

I hesitate to proceed with my next little commentary not wanting to disrespect the lives that were lost in the bombing earlier this week but I feel there is an important lesson for us all in what happened.  On base we have a large mixture of active duty, guard and reserve military as well as civilian contractors and DoD civilians.  All of us are taught to hit the ground when you hear the ‘incoming’ alarm sounding across the base.  There have been many occasions when walking outside that the alarm would go off and all the military people hit the ground but everyone else just keeps walking and sometimes pointing and laughing at those of us on the ground.  It must look pretty ridiculous.  On the night of the attack the alarm went off seconds before impact but not one of the three individuals that were killed got on the ground.  Some of the non-fatal injured had gotten down and it was because of that that they survived.  The morals of this story are many but one I wish to mention is to heed the warnings you have received.  Listen!  Warnings will come before attacks and though we may experience pain and possible injury we will survive if we heed the warnings and take cover. 

It is nearly time to turn things over to the day shift folks.  My replacement will be here by the time I wake back up tonight.  Yeehaw!  Thank you to all who pray for me and for my family.  Please take the time if you can spare it today or tomorrow to call my sweet Cami and wish her a happy birthday (the 28^th officially).  I love you all.

The Marathon

Well the big news of the week is the marathon.  Seven weeks ago we found out that the Boston Athletic Association was going to put on an official Boston Marathon Shadow Race for us.  With only seven weeks to train only five of us from the OR signed up.  I followed a modified training schedule but had to continually ice my foot that has been giving me trouble.  I will spare you the details of my gastrointestinal problems associated with long training runs but suffice it to say if you need more info on the subject Google ‘runner’s trots’.  I felt like I was more prepared for this marathon than for either of the other two I have done, which is not really saying too much.

At 2:30 am on April 18^th three out of the five of us that signed up made our way to the starting line.  The other two had to regrettably fallout due to injuries or illness.  I had learned from past bad experience not to change anything on the day of a big race.  Many a blistered foot cursed the new pair of shoes saved for race day.  I was dressed in the Air Force PT shirt and shorts that I had trained in but was required to wear a reflective belt which I had not trained with.  We joined all 600 runners in a gym called the clamshell and received our safety briefing.  The safety brief was the usual war time race spiel about what to do if a rocket hit etc.  We had a group prayer and then lined up at the starting gate.  In preparing to run for four hours I had borrowed an arm band to hold my iPod so that I could listen to the book I have been using to distract my mind during these voluntary torture sessions.  A fire truck honked its horn three times holding the last blast to let us know it was time to go.  The race had begun.  The course was comprised of two 13.1 mile loops which crossed over the end of the flight line and traversed the entire base.  The first hour was quite enjoyable.  It was dark and cool with a very light breeze.  There was lighting rolling around in the far distance illuminating the clouds above.  I felt really good and was maintaining a pretty quick pace.  I had made a goal to finish in less than four hours but knew that if I didn’t make it I would still be just as happy to finish.  Every two miles there were water and Gatorade stations with lots of volunteers to cheer you on.  There were medical aid stations at 5 mile intervals. The medics would come right up to your face to see how you were doing.  By about mile 14 I was beginning to be acutely aware of my mortality as my hips and knees started to burn.  My feet felt like they were swelling up and filling my loosely tied shoes.  As I reported a while back, I had done my 20 mile training run mostly on a treadmill.  I ran the initial 7 miles on the treadmill then ran on the road for 6 miles and came back to the treadmill and finished off with another seven miles.  By the time I hit 20 miles during the actual race it became evident that miles on the treadmill are easier on your body than are miles on the pavement.  Exhaustion threatened to claim me at about mile 23.  My heart and lungs felt great but my poor joints were pretty unhappy.  There were different places on the course where you would get a different colored rubber band to prevent people from cheating (which I may have done given the opportunity—not really!).  As you would come to a checkpoint there would be tons of people there shouting encouragement.  I was very impressed that other runners on the course who looked worse off than me would also take the time to encourage each other on.  By the end it was not your body carrying toward the finish line but your stubborn will.  I crossed the finish line at 3:46:49.  As I crossed the finish a volunteer placed my medal around my head and another volunteer had me walk with her so she could decide if I needed medical attention or not.  I guess I passed the test because she let me go back to the clamshell where the morning had started and have pictures taken and eat and drink.  Official certificates were printed out showing our times and when I went to pick mine up the time had been put in wrong but the poor guy submitting the information looked so frazzled I didn’t have the heart to ask him to fix it. 

After it was over I stretched out and waited for my other OR friends to finish.  When they were all safely across the finish line, we took some pictures together and then I went back to the hospital to shower.  It wasn’t until the water touched my skin that I realized I had some fairly significant chaffing in some fairly significant locations.  Once I was clean and dressed I made my way back to my dorm room and got into bed at about 9am.  I must have had some significant adrenaline reserves because my temporal arteries were pounding away making it pretty uncomfortable to lie on my sides.  So for five hours I lay awake staring at the underside of the bunk above me and thought about the race I had just finished.  It was hard and exhausting but I had done it.  I felt good about the accomplishment and realized that there is great satisfaction in doing hard things.  Easy things don’t ever make you feel like that.  You never finish a 3 minute workout consisting of 3 pushups with a minute of rest after each one and have that sense of self-mastery.  Our desire to do better and be better than we were yesterday will be evident in the pace at which we each run this race of life.  It sounds cheesy but it is true.  The difference between an ultra marathoner and a couch potato is desire.

Well that story sort of took all the time I have tonight.  My replacement gets here in a week but I have learned not to get too excited about any particular date so at this point I can’t say when I will be leaving Afghanistan.  I love you all and think of you often.  Have a great week.

Six Months Away From Home

My apologies for my email silence over the last two weeks.  Things have been picking up as the warmer weather approaches.  We continue to have consistent mortar attacks but fortunately they have not resulted in any human casualties.  We have a defense system called Counter - Rocket, Artillery and Mortar gun or C-RAMs that are stationed near the outside walls.  As I understand it they are linked in to the radar system and when an incoming rocket, mortar or other artillery shell is picked up it identifies the object and sends 75 20mm highly explosive rounds a second at the target blowing them out of the sky before they can do any damage.  The C-RAMs have a purported 80% efficacy against rockets.  Our system was not functional when I first arrived here but it is working now.  About ten minutes ago I heard the ‘incoming’ alarm and then heard the very distinctive sound of the C-RAM letting loose.  It must have been the C-RAM closest to the hospital because it shook the walls of the break room for about 5 seconds.  I am guessing that the target was destroyed because shortly after we go the ‘all clear’.   I am sure there is a YouTube video out there of what this sounds like but if you hear it once you’ll never forget it.  I for one am grateful for technology like this. 

It is easy to remember that you are at war when almost daily you see the casualties of the fight or hear things like the C-RAMs that let you know that the enemy is always out there waiting for you to let down your guard.  I see many potential analogies to our spiritual lives and the war that we are fighting every day against the darkness and evil of this world.  Unfortunately Satan is a much stealthier opponent than is the Taliban.  He has millennia of experience and specializes in distraction so that nearly all of his targets forget that there is even a war taking place.  He distracts our attention with worldly attainment and success leading us slowly but consistently away from the real purpose of our mortality.  God has given us things like the C-RAMs, weapons with which to ward off the fiery darts of the adversary but unlike the C-RAM God’s tools are 100% effective when appropriately used.  Our C-RAMs are mounted on huge watch towers that overlook the concrete barriers that form the perimeter wall.  Centuries are posted on the watch towers to warn of enemy movement.  We had an incredible opportunity to hear from the watchmen God has given us last week in General Conference.  I hope that we all realize what an incredible gift it is to have living prophets who warn of the enemy’s movements and what we need to do to stay safe.  The scriptures contain the words of the watchmen of the past and their words apply to us as much now as when they were originally spoken.  As we heed the words of the prophets both ancient and modern we will feel the spirit in our lives guiding us on our individual missions to build the kingdom of God and prepare the world for the return of Jesus Christ.  Most importantly the spirit allows you to see through the fog and Siren’s song of Satan so that you can steer your course through the obstacles he will throw up in your way.

I don’t have a lot of time right now but wanted to get this email out even if it is short.  I want to end with something someone said in church last week that I have been thinking a lot about.  It is this, “We need to minimize the gap between what we believe and what we do.”  This is not a time for fence sitting or being lukewarm (Revelations 3:16).  We are at war our spiritual lives are threatened every day and we would do well to remember as we awake each day that all is not well in Zion. Start each day by putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18).  Never do anything that would cause you to lose the sword of the spirit as it is the only weapon you have to actively fight against Satan’s power.  I have great hope for the future because I know in whom I have trusted.  Have a great week one and all.  

Real C-RAM

The previous Bishop of our ward (or church congregation), Bishop Troy Mitchell, sent Brett a pecan pie from a famously good restaurant in Galveston, TX. Brett said it was the most amazing pecan pie he's ever had and he ate almost 1/2 of it himself!!! Thannks, Bishop!!!!

Learning to Be Still

Well hopefully you all agree with Gary Gnu in that “no gnu-s is good gnu-s” because this week has been fairly uneventful.  I did run my longest training run on Friday which was a total of 20 miles.  One of the nurses in the OR is training for the marathon too and ran 20 miles on a treadmill (she calls it the dreadmill, wonder why after 20 miles).  I however with my attention deficit problems can’t stare at the inside of a tent for that long and so I had to break it up.  I ran 7 miles on the treadmill then went outside to run on the main road that follows the flight line.  It is called Disney Drive named for a fallen soldier.  It is a three mile road so I ran it twice and then got back on the treadmill and did another 7 miles.  All in all it took me just under three hours to do 20 miles which puts me on target to finish the race in less than four hours.  I don’t know about the rest of you runners out there but if I am doing anything over about ten miles I have to pre-medicate with some Imodium or else I get into big trouble at about mile 18, must be something in the constant bouncing of my innards. Disney used to represent the ‘happiest place on earth’ but now I just associate it with bubble gut. 

Enough about my gastrointestinal distress, moving on to a different tragedy, my laptop bit the dust.  I actually purchased a new laptop to bring out here before my better sense (named Cami) kicked in and I took it back and brought my oldie but goody.    There are certain things you cannot do on government computers like access personal blogs.  You can however get on Facebook which I don’t really understand but that is not relevant.  Anyhow, I used my laptop each week to update my blog and write my emails.  In the anesthesia office there is a set of bunk beds that we use as shelves and storage for anything we don’t have a place for.  A co-worker and I keep our laptops plugged in and charging on the bed and have for the last five months.  Thursday night when I got in to work the girl that keeps her computer by mine said, “I have got to show you something.”  She picks up her MacBook and opens it to reveal a shattered screen.  There was a round indentation on the top of her computer where a bowling ball or helmet with 40 pounds of bullet proof vest on top of it bashed it in.  I went over to my computer and opened it up.  The screen was intact but there was a popping feel to it when I lifted the screen.  I pushed the power button got a weak blue flash before it flat lined never to stir again.  On closer inspection the same blunt force trauma that shattered the computer screen hit the back half of my laptop and severed the power connections so it will not charge or recognize it is plugged in.  Luckily I backed up the whole thing before coming here so nothing was really lost.  No one has yet confessed to doing it. 

On a more exciting note I shipped my last box home this past week.  I packaged up everything that I don’t think I will be needing, including my laptop’s battered carcass, some clothes, books, souvenirs and other miscellaneous junk and sent all 57 pounds of it home.  The motto here is ‘you pack it you carry it’ so we all try to pack as little as possible.  It is one of those milestones on the road to going home so I was excited to send it off.  Today we also had our squadron medal presentation ceremony and re-deployment party.  I was awarded the NATO medal and the Afghan Campaign medal along with everyone else that came here.  They pin a medal on you, you salute then march down a line and then they take it away from you to pin on the next group.  If you want to keep it you have to buy it, budget cuts I guess.

Well that is about as much news as I have for you.  As per tradition I will end by sharing a brief thought that has been swirling around in my mind.  After last week’s lesson on Noah and listening to a book about the end of days (The Great and Terrible for those interested) I have been thinking a lot about how hard it is to really tune in to the spirit to receive guidance and comfort in this crazy, loud, obnoxious, hectic world of ours.  I think often in terms of my children and all that they have going on and how much more they will need to learn to master the art of listening to the still small voice.  As I have been thinking about this a line of scripture repeated in Psalms 46:10 and D&C 101:16 kept coming into my mind. 

‘Be still and know that I am God.’

This small but profound idea is the answer to keeping ourselves tuned to the Spirit.  Years ago I started a habit that has helped me to put this into practice.  Driving home from work I used to listen to talk radio or music.  I found that often I would get worked up listening to Glen Beck talk about the government or Dr Laura chastising a young man for getting married too young (inside joke).  One day I just turned it off.  At first I would just drive and enjoy the quiet.  After that I started to go through my day in my mind and put things in their proper places so when I got home I felt more engaged in what I was doing there.  After that my thoughts turned into prayer;  a report to God on my day, thoughts about how to do better, how to be a better husband, how to be a better father, employee, scoutmaster, whatever.  I would feel the spirit whisper to my mind in those quiet moments in the car and I would get home filled with love and joy. 

                Distraction is one of Satan’s most powerful tools.  It is not a sin to be super busy and involved so it is easy to ensnare the righteous in the ‘thick of thin things’ as President Monson put it.  It is easy to be rushing from sun up to sun down getting in a quick scripture study here and a hurried prayer there.  Take the time to be still. Why is pondering mentioned so often in the scriptures?  Take the time to be still and quiet, to listen.  Who says your nightly prayer has to be offered right before you jump into bed exhausted?  Pray hours before you plan to sleep.  Lie in bed and be still.  Turn off the radio when driving alone.  Learn to take time to be still.  Don’t fall into the trap of distraction. So much of life is illusion, smoke and mirrors meant to draw our minds away from its true purpose.  When you take the time to be still it is then you will know that He is God!

                I hope you all have a glorious week.  Thanks for everything!

Here are some pictures for the week:

This is a picture of the flooding Brett mentioned a few posts back! Pretty crazy!

Our cute niece, Michelle, and  her 4th grad class all sent Brett some cards! Isn't that the coolest thing!!!?

Brett's running route in Bagram! Pretty good pace, there!

The crew training for the marathon